The Tiny Voice In My Head

Well, the more I think about it the more I realize that I could be a flower child. The music that inspired me the most when I was growing up were Bowie, Beatles, Stax Records, Temptations, the Jackson 5 and the rest of Motown but not necessarily in that order. I could put on a Parliament record after listening to David Bowie’s Heroes. I remember when David performed it on Bing Crosby’s last special in ‘77. It was really something to see. The choreography was great.

On Sunday morning, my mother would play Aretha Franklin singing gospel with songs like How I Got Over or a James Cleveland record. So there was no escaping gospel music. It was always at the root.

Today, I still enjoy the music of the late 60s and 70s because it was the era of convergence. The Temptations began to sound psychedelic and psychedelic rock bands sounded like the Temps. And speaking of the Temps, recently there is a later song circa 1975 that I’ve really grown fond of. It’s called Memories.

And speaking of psychedelic, I could really trip to King Crimson. Songs like 21st Century Schizoid Man and Cat Food are timeless. Check out the dissonance of the piano in Cat Food. You can tell they were inspired by African music and Jazz. They take me on a ride and I just get lost in the music. It’s a wonderful feeling. No wonder I can connect with it. It’s a familiar feeling. And speaking of Cat Food, there is this Japanese band called Benisyoga that does an impressive interpretation of it.

21st Century Schizoid Man is like a symphony, each part of the song is it’s own movement. It’s like several songs within one. This approach to music had a great influence on me. There is a Japanese band called Seasons and they tear it up in their version. They are sassy strings bring the song to whole other emotional level. Check out the video and buy the record! You won’t be disappointed.

I’ve been listening a lot to Traffic a lot these days. There’s just something about those old songs with Steve Winwood on vocals and organ, songs like Freedom Rider and Heaven Is in Your Mind. Ooh, I just love the meter changes in that song. It goes from 4/4 time in the verse to 3/4 time in the chorus. That’s so cool!

Tags: bowie, gospel, influences, seventies, sixties

I witnessed Jomama Jones tonight at Joe’s Pub in the Village. What can I say. She was “afro-futuristic,” divine and utterly fantastic. Jomama Jones is much more than skin deep. Her music is spiritual and had me foot stompi Continue Reading »

Tags: jomama jones, Music, pop, rock, spiritual

What can I say?  It’s something that can never escape me.  No matter how many distractions, stress inducing moments and work-life balancing acts I endure, I can’t escape the desire, the passion to write music.  I’ve come to the understanding that if I don’t release it, it will haunt me forever like a living hell.  Scary, isn’t it?

The older I get, the more busy life gets.  I am referring to the rat race of urban living.  A few years ago, I found myself at a point of being haunted by the thoughts of wanting to create but not finding the space to do so.  The more I moved away from the gift, the emptier I felt.  And then the painful reminders sink in: aching bones and joints, weight gain and stress.

I realized that I could never totally disconnect because my dreams still presented me with creative pearls of musical ideas; little nuggets that I could store on my hard drive and I did just that.  It could be 3am in the morning. It could be a melody, a lyric but usually some kind of melody that I felt compelled to jot down in my groggy, early morning state.  And so I did just that over and over again.  The closer I was to dream state, the easier it was to truly capture the essence of the gift that was bestowed to me at the waking point.  I have a good sense of remembers dream details: smells, places, colors, people (living and dead) and sounds.

For example, I can recall being in a dream listening to a song on the radio, but realizing in the wake state that I never heard of it before.  The same thing happened when I was watching a concert on the TV in my dream or the glowing lady in white who taught me an old song in a foreign language.  There’s more on that next time.

I still struggle with the work-life balancing act, but realize I’m not alone in that process and that there are other artists doing the same thing in different ways.  In that work-life balance is the guilt associated with not having moved forward and feeling helpless in the ‘Matrix’ of life.  Even as a clumsy kid in gym class, I always hated the balancing beam.  Remember that?

I think I like creating music more than performing it.  It’s always a good feeling when I can accurately share the soundtrack of my mind and when I can capture the moment.  It’s a beautiful feeling.  I do like performing, but I stress out from all the little details.  However, when I am on stage it all pulls together and I am totally in the moment.  It’s the before stuff that drives me crazy.

About a year ago, I felt the need to record again.  It’s been nearly 10 years and thus began the search.  I am very happy to be working with the very talented Robert Urban of Urban Productions.  He is my George Martin, the genius that he is.  We’ve been working together for a few months and here’s a taste of what’s to come from our hard work.  It’s called “Sign Post.”  I hope you enjoy it.

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SIGN POST
lyrics & music by Martina Downey
© 2010

Martina Downey – vocal
Robert Urban – guitars, percussion, piano, orchestral sounds
Steven Sullivan – bass

arranged, produced, recorded & mixed by R. Urban
at URBAN PRODUCTIONS, NYC

Your President was not a crook or was he? I’m speaking of 1974 of course. You have to see this movie. I was not quite a teenager when he resigned and I remember the Frost/Nixon interviews and the famous resignation speech that was televised Don’t miss it and neither will I.
Check out the trailer.

Thanksgiving day couldn’t have been more perfect. I spent the time with family and friends. I did some cooking and everything came out just perfect. The highlight of the day was eating a chocolate bar infused with bacon. I was dared into it and I can’t refuse a dare. Believe it or not, it really worked just like the lasagna with raisins I had 20 years ago. If you are ever in Whole Foods, stop by the candy aisle and pick up a chocolate with bacon bar. You won’t be sorry.

Today I am feeling very old school. The doc says my voice will be just fine with “west and welaxation at wast.” Well, I don’t think so but at least the prognosis looks good. I’ve been feeling very old school. I’m listening to one of favorite Eno compositions, Music for Film. Check out what he does with rhythm on the track “M386“. It’s somewhat somber, serious and moving at the same time. It feels very familiar to me and hopefully with you as well. Enjoy and discover Eno.

Tags: Brian Eno, M386

It’s Sunday evening, several days past one of the greatest moments in American history, namely Barack Obama becoming president and I have lost my voice. Yes, I have absolutely no singing voice and it’s been gone for two weeks plus. I got sick two weeks ago and my speaking voice was all but a whisper. I feel better but my voice is completely annihilated. I am worried sick about it. I had a dream about me being asked to sing and instead I had to play a recording of one of my songs. I’ve even had thoughts of making music the Quincy Jones approach by having other performers sing and play my music, while I direct. That idea worked for a hot minute. Okay, so I’ve jumped the gun a just a little.

I went to the GP yesterday and he couldn’t figure it out. He said it’s time to call the ENT and that is what I am going to do first thing tomorrow morning. You see, I have hope that somebody is going to return my voice just like I have hope that Barack is going to take action in restoring the economy and the damage that has been done to our nation. It’s going to be a tough battle ahead on both accounts because the damage is quite grave.

It’s so bad that I can’t even hit a note. The most I can do is squeal like a mouse. Well, if you have any bright ideas or home remedies, please pass them along. I have temporary lost my voice before, but not like this. This is bad as the Dow falling 700 points. I have hope that all will we well again with time and good care.

Good Evening,

It’s almost morning by my account. I just wanted to drop you a few lines to let you know that last night’s Outmusic Open Mic was a wonderful fundraiser for Breast Cancer awareness. There were moving testimonials of how women battled the disease like true warriors, armed with their creativity to survive. There were some great performances. I think they were all were great and very different. We had blues, hip/hop, folk, rock, jazz and comedy.

I had a blast singing last night. I have to thank all the organizers at Outmusic for their warm welcome. I felt at home there and I really like the new venue. They created a nice space and the GLBT Center in Manhattan and kept it intimate at the same time. I posted a couple of pics.

Athena Reich made us laugh. The duo reminded me of Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. Ganessa James can make a guitar hum and she’s got a great voice to go with it.

Thanks to all the fellas that came out to support. It was a truly a ‘family affair.’  Thank you, Outmusic.

Tags: OutMusic

Greetings and Salutations,

When Sam Cooke sings “a change is gonna come” it just resonates with me. I hear Sam now and then over on XM’s Soul Street. When change comes, there’s never enough preparation I can do to be truly ready. I don’t know how to act or respond. I just lost a dear friend of mine whom I’ve known for 21 years. It reminded me of the time when I lost my father. I get numb and I want to do something to keep my mind off of it.

I had a sudden awareness earlier today. When death occurs, it’s the living that is shocked with suffering. I truly believe that when someone crosses over, they are no longer in suffering but at peace. They are in a different dimension but can see us. It’s like I see you, but you can’t see me…….gotcha! I will miss my friend. He’s probably off smoking Cuban cigars and eating greasy food. Good for him. Meanwhile, us folks over at the ranch get to shake our empty pockets, shell out lots of money for expensive groceries and try to hold on to our now 10K funds from being eaten up.

I’m about to record again for the first time in years and I’m frightened to death of it and excited at the time. I’ve spent time away preparing myself in a much needed way, but again I’m not prepared for the emotion of saying goodbye to one chapter and starting a new one.

I’ve been writing and revising new songs over the years. I want to get things just right, the perfectionist that I am. I even question if I am doing the right thing and then I then I hear that ‘tiny voice in my head’ that fast forwards 10 or even 20 years from now saying, I wonder what it would have been like if I had recorded again. I don’t want to be in that position to wonder what I should-have-would-have-could-have done. The time is now. That ‘tiny voice in my head’ says now is the time and will continue to hear it.

Greetings and Salutations,

I went to get checked out the other morning for my annual breast exam. I couldn’t procrastinate any longer by my records and I’m pretty vigilant about these things. Besides, I’ve heard the horror stories and dare not take a chance. I scheduled my appointment for 8am in the morning so I could be first in and first out. My FIFO strategy seemed to work. I was out of there in an hour including in-take.

I was really dreading going this time. It’s usually fairly routine for me but the facility where I usually go closed or was merged into another nearby facility. The gist of it all is that the new place was undergoing re-construction and the whole place was a construction zone. It’s a wonder that they were allowed to remain open. I must say that I was concerned, but I really didn’t want to go elsewhere. The same doctors from the old place had moved over into the new place and it’s important to keep the same set up, if at all possible, for consistency sake.

I arrived at the place with doubt on my mind. I walked into the facility and there was no one is sight. The room was dark and yet I could here voices in the back. I pulled out my cell phone and called the facility while on the premises. The nurse came out to get me and walked me around this construction maze. I said to myself. Self, you must be mad for doing this in this space, but still I persisted.

Finally, I arrived in a well lit reception area with other patients. Drats, I wasn’t first but I got called in right away. The bathroom experience was dreadful but they were quick to remedy the situation. Needless to say, I didn’t do any tipping. And off in the distance I heard a raspy voice of a woman who called me in to get squeezed.

I followed this woman into the examining room and she gave me instructions. The sound of Regis blared on a dusty old radio in the corner of the room. I asked, what is that noise. She looks at me and kept fiddling with the machines. It was a whole 5 minutes before she introduced herself to me, but that was cool.

She went about about her work with the utmost confidence and ease. In order to make myself comfortable, I decided to strike up a conversation and introduced myself. She apologized and told me her name was Doris. I learned that Doris was in her 60s and had been fiddling with mammaries for 40 years. My comfort level went from nervousness to extreme calm. Fear not because Doris was in charge and she handled those controls as if she were a captain of a ship. Aye Captain.

I felt safe with Doris because she knew what she was doing. She made me feel comfortable. I was in and out of there in a flash. Holy compression! It’s all about compression……so sayeth the journal article on the wall. Compression has been her life, but I managed to get her to smile even if she seemed at the surface somewhat grumpy. Doris was cool in my book.

I smiled and said, you’re the best. And I sped off in my car with a thought of coming back next year. Can you believe that? Construction be damned. As long as Doris is there, I’ll be back next year and the year after. Now I get to go play poker in Boca Raton in August in association with a live auction for cancer prevention. More on that story later.